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His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.“My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home for?”Husband answers, “Because he’s thinking of getting married.”This one is compliments of PepereOn their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven.When St. Peter arrived, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” and he left.The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal. "If I knew I was going to upset you, I would have left it on your vanity," he said, grinning and shaking the collar in the air."This... This girl still would have cried, S... Sir." Master." Yes, Sir. I mean, M... Master. Oh!" I yelped, bursting into tears again. Andrew chuckled and slipped my new collar around my neck, leaning close as he buckled it, kissing tears from my cheeks. My whole body shuddered on a knife-edge of emotion."Climb into my lap, pet." Your lap?" I had never been asked to sit on his lap. I wanted to badly, but had never asked, and he had never offered."When I command, you obey, Dominique. And, as of this day, you may speak to me as you wish, unless commanded otherwise." N... No more 'this girl', S... Sir?" Not unless you want to." It's going to take a little getting used to, Si... I mean, Master," I said happily, rising and slipping between his legs, lowering myself and snuggling into him. He wrapped his strong arms around me and I shuddered as I exhaled, tears.
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